Weekly Marriage Blog

Both Spouses Need to Grow Spiritually

By Dr. David Clarke, Ph.D
To make your marriage truly intimate, both spouses need to be growing in their personal
relationship with God.
The Big Idea
To make your marriage truly intimate, both spouses need to be growing in their personal relationship with God.
The Teaching
If true intimacy involves a spiritual bond as a couple(and it does!), then each spouse must have a growing spiritual bond with God.  A big
part of your spiritual bond is sharing the spiritual growth you each arre experiencing.  You can't share what you don't have.
If my wife, Sandy, is growing spiritually but I am not, we cannot fully spiritually bond.  I can listen to her talk about her spirituality, but I can't
join with her spiritually for two reasons.  First, I'm not close to God so I can't relate to what she's saying.  Second, the conversation is one-
sided because I have nothing to talk about.
To grow spiritually, I strongly recommend four actions.  One, spend 10-15 minutes with God every day.  In these just you and God times,
pray and read the Bible.  Two, talk with God throughout each day.  Three, attend church each week and serve in the church.  Four, allow
your spouse to hold you accountable in your spiritual growth process.
The Action Plan
1. Tell your spouse the truth about how you are doing in your relationship with God.  How close are you to God right now?  If you are doing
well spiritually, why?  If you are not doing well, why?
2. Agree to spend 10-15 minutes with God every day.  Tell your spouse when and where you'll do this quiet time with God.  In these times,
pray:  confess your sins and claim God's forgiveness, thank God for all He's done for you, and offer up your prayer requests to Him.  Also,
read and study a short Bible passage during each quiet time.
3. Agree to talk with God(not out loud, or they'll take you away)all during each day.  Share your feelings, your worries, and your triumphs.  Ask
for His help as you meet the challenges of your day.
4. Agree to attend church each week and find an area of service in your church.  Talk to your pastor about where you can serve.
5. Agree to tell your spouse at the end of each week(Saturday or Sunday)how you did on action steps 2, 3, and 4 above.  Ask your spouse to
pray that you will keep working to grow spiritually. 
This Blog is based on my book, Kiss Me LIke You Mean It
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